five happiest moments in life
Today we were discussing moments in life, instants that you remember being supremely happy during. You claimed that your top five best life moments are sports related. Watching your team win the World Series or Superbowl. I replied that I thought that was a little sad, that when you step away from those moments you actually have nothing to do with them. You agreed in principle, but then claimed that life doesn’t actually occur in instants like that. You can like your friends and family, you can have unbelievably happy nights, but there aren’t real moments in life like there are in sports, you argued. This conversation was several hours ago, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I think there are instants like that in life, and all of mine were with you. Here’s my list of five happiest moments in life:
1. The first time we kissed after a year of being apart. It felt so comfortable and magnetic, like we needed to stay like that forever.
2. The moment I realized I love you. You had just gotten back from a month long trip that you cut short because you missed me. I was sitting crossed legged on your bed wearing your silly fleece hat and watching you unpack. I realized that I physically couldn’t stop grinning. I was so ecstatically happy.
3. The first time you blew on the back of my neck and realized that it made me giggle.
4. The time we lay in your bed and watched the thunderstorm through your skylight, and you reached over and held my hand.
5. The time you revealed your biggest secret to me, and I realized that you’d never told anyone before. You really did trust me.
Maybe, now, it’s time to move on. We don’t live in the same place anymore. You don’t even think about me when you think about the happiest times of your life. Instead, you’re thinking about the year the Rams were the best show on turf. I know I’ll always love you, but maybe it’s time for me to learn how to love other people as well. I want to be with someone that has the confidence to tell me he loves me. You and I have never been in that place at the same time.
Thanks for the memories, S.